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Just got your hands on your first sex toy and not sure how to use it? Or, maybe you have a favourite rabbit in the drawer and don’t think you’re using it to its full potential?
How you use your vibrator may depend on which type of sex toy you buy. “All vibrators can be used to awaken external body parts with skin-tingling buzzy thrills,” says Jess Wilde, sex expert at sexual happiness and wellness brand Lovehoney. “Some, like G-spot toys and rabbit vibrators, are also designed for penetrative pleasure.” Want to get started? Here’s how to use a vibrator…
Why you always need lube with a vibrator
Prepping your vibrator with lubrication before you use it will make every sensation feel a lot more heightened and pleasurable. “No matter which type of vibrator you have, it’ll feel 100 times better with a good-quality sex-toy lubricant,” says Jess. “I always recommend using a water-based one as it’s compatible with all sex-toy materials. Many are also specially formulated. This means they don’t disturb the delicate pH balance of the vagina, meaning your toy and your vagina stay gloriously happy.”
Not sure how much or how little to use? It’s entirely up to you and what you prefer. “To begin play, add a drop of lubricant to yourself, evenly spreading it over your clitoris and labia with your fingers,” recommends Jess. “You may also like to add a drop of lube to the tip of your toy for guaranteed glide.”
Want a lubricant that goes a little further? You may want to buy an orgasm balm. “A good lubricant enhances any sexual experience, be it with a sex toy or with a partner,” says Lovehoney’s sex expert Annabelle Knight. “But you can also enhance sensation even more with an orgasm balm, which is designed to make the clitoris more responsive. Try dabbing on a little bit before reaching for your bullet to really skyrocket your session.”
How to grip your sex toy
How you hold your vibrator will depend largely on which type of vibrator you use. Phallic-shaped vibrators, such as rabbits and wands, have a long shaft that’s usually easy to grip on to.
Bullets vibrators are smaller and thinner vibrators, ideal for clitoral stimulation and external erogenous zones. You’d usually hold one between your thumb and forefinger. And couple’s vibrators, which come in a variety of shapes and sizes, don’t need to be held, as they’re worn during sex by both parties to increase sensations for a couple.
- Using a bullet vibrator? “Hold your vibrator horizontally, and you can enjoy vibrations across a broader area,” says Annabelle. “This is particularly great if you’re quite sensitive and prefer less intense stimulation.”
- Don’t want to hold your vibrator with your hand? “Try slipping your vibrator into your underwear,” says Annabelle. “The challenge now is to generate as much pleasure as possible without actually touching the vibe with your hands. You can sit on a chair and grind against the toys, but no hands allowed! It’s a great way to experiment with control, both with and without a partner.”
Why you need to start slowly when using a vibrator
Not used a particular vibrator before and not sure how best to use it? Starting slowly and working your way up to the stronger vibration settings is always key. This is especially important if you are particularly sensitive down below. And, if you don’t like surprises, use the vibrator elsewhere on your body before you use it on any of your most sensitive parts.
“Switch on the vibrations and, using whichever part of the toy feels best against your body, stroke it over external pleasure points to see what feels most enjoyable,” recommends Annabelle. “If your toy has multiple modes of vibration, experiment with the different speeds and patterns. Start with the most gentle and work your way up to the most powerful, to see which one works best for you.”
Getting to know what you like may be trial and error at first. “Lots of vibrators come with a variety of speeds and functions, so you can tailor the experience to exactly fit your needs,” says Annabelle. “Some people like a gentle rumble from their toy, while others prefer vibes that pack a more powerful punch.”
How to use a vibrator on your own
Using a vibrator on your own? Then it’s a great way to get to know your own body. “Feel your way,” says Annabelle. “Experimentation is the key when playing with a vibrator.”
Thinking about the areas on your body which you love to arouse can help when it comes to picking a suitable vibrator, too. Bigger doesn’t always mean better. “Size isn’t everything when it comes to vibes,” says Annabelle. “Bullets are much more petite than conventional vibrators, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be potent pleasure tools. Because of their shape, they’re great for really precise stimulation and focusing vibrations exactly where you want them most. Try tracing the tip all over your vulva to discover brand-new sweet spots that aren’t just the tip of the clitoris.”
Using something larger, such as a rabbit vibrator? “If your vibrator is designed for internal play, you can try moving on from external arousal and slowly inserting the vibrator into your vagina,” says Jess. “If your vibrator has a curve, make sure the tip is facing forwards (towards your belly button) for a thrilling G-spot massage.”
How to use a vibrator with a partner
Vibrators are not just for solo play. Using one with a partner is a great way of adding some spark back into your sex life, especially if you have been together for a long time. The mechanical buzz can help arouse both you and your partner in a way hands can’t.
Not sure which one to pick and how to use a vibrator? “Vibrators are easy to use during all kinds of play with a partner,” says Annabelle. “You can hold them against your clitoris during penetrative sex to increase your chance of orgasm. Or, if your partner has a penis, try using the bullet on their balls or perineum while you give them a blow job.”
Your partner can also experiment with how to use a vibrator on you, too. “Experimentation is definitely key when playing with a vibrator,” says Annabelle. “Why not try moving away from your vagina entirely and pressing the vibration against other erogenous zones, such as nipples, inner thighs and perineum?” Just make sure you keep communicating with your partner about how you’d like to use sex toys together and how often.
Tips for when using a vibrator in water
Want to use your vibrator in the shower? The first rule about how to use a vibrator in water is to check that it’s waterproof. This means that the toy is safe to be fully submerged in water and it’s not just water-resistant. Not checking this first can damage your vibrator beyond repair and may do you more harm than good in the process.
Thankfully, if you want a vibrator you can use in water, you won’t be limited for choice. “There are tons of waterproof vibrators out there, which are perfect for bath or shower play,” says Anabelle. “But to make sure your vibe is safe for aquatic fun, check the description on the packaging or online. It needs to say ‘submersible’, not just ‘splashproof’. And it’s worth noting that some vibrators, especially suction ones, make more noise when submerged.
Using lubrication is still important, even if you are using your vibrator underwater. Spraying water directly into the vagina instead can cause infection and discomfort. “A slick of silicone lube can make things even more enjoyable,’ says Annabelle. Plus, always be wary of slipping. If you’ve got handles in the bath or shower, you may need to hold on to them when things get steamy!
How to clean and store your vibrator
Not only can making sure you clean your vibrator properly prolong its life, it’s also essential for good hygiene – and it won’t take too long, either.
“If your vibrator is waterproof, clean it with warm soapy water and then spritz it with good-quality antibacterial sex-toy cleaner,” recommends Jess. “If your vibrator isn’t waterproof, wipe it down with antibacterial sex-toy wipes before following up with a spritz of antibacterial sex-toy cleaner. Then leave your toy to air dry before putting it into storage somewhere safe.”
Did your sex toy come with a storage pouch? Then you should always use it. “You should store sex toys of different materials separately to keep them in their best condition,” says Jess. “In fact, some materials will actually melt if they touch! You can do this by storing them in special sex-toy storage bags.”
Not using a rechargeable vibrator? “If your vibrator takes batteries, remember to remove them between uses to conserve power,” recommends Jess.